What are some funny and smart quotes?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

These glowing axolotls may hold the secret to human limb regeneration - The Washington Post

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Why are Democrats deflecting and aren’t as tough on Hunter Biden with all of his criminal activity and his rising possibility of him receiving a charge for illegally owing a gun?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.